CHANGE

 

 

"Remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I've taken for granted." -Sylvia Plath

 

Today I was asked if there was any part of me that was sad to be leaving high school, and to my surprise, I said yes. I never, ever, in a million years, thought I would be sad to leave high school. But I sort of am, just a little bit. It's bittersweet, you know?

The other night I sat next to Trevor and Tristin and across from Whitney and Mackay at our usual table at the local dairy queen. We all ordered mini cookie jar blizzards, per usual, and sat around the booth laughing and talking about life. With only 6 days of our high school career left, there was a feeling in the air that this might just be the last time we do this.

It's weird. We're moving on and growing up and it's wonderful ands scary and...weird. Did I already say weird? Boy oh boy, is it weird.

Trevor has been called on a mission to Bolivia and is leaving in July, Garrett is going to El Salvador, and Ty is going to Canada. Tristin is getting his call in a matter of weeks. Josh is playing BYU Football and Whitney is moving 2,635 miles away from me to BYU-Hawaii, her dream school. Cerena and Mackay and Cassidy and Laura all still have a year left, those poor things. ;)

Bittersweet is a word I've been using a lot lately.

LATELY

The church history tour posts are coming soon, I can promise you that. But until then, here is a little list of current happenings/things I'm loving lately:

 

-This poem by Sarah Kay. (the rest of the video is pretty good, too). (yay for TED talks).

-Planning new upcoming photo shoots.

-This documentary, because I love photography & I love fashion & I love old men & I love documentaries in general, so this one is basically made for me.

-How everyone is wanting to set me up with their friend/nephew/coworker/boy they took braces off the other day. Is this what being almost 18 feels like?

- I'm really into the work of Tyler Knott Gregson lately; he's attractive and has some rad tattoos and is a pretty great photographer, but mostly I just love his poetry. Check out some of my very favorites of his here, here, here, here, here, here, here & here. Also I'm really excited about the new book deal he just got! Definitely buying that one. 

-Photographing a wedding.

-Old friends that move back to Oregon (Hey Haley! Here's your shout out!)

-This blog. Not only is LL cute & stylish, but she's also a super inspiring writer. I may or may not have started following her on instagram & twitter, too. & she may or may not be my newest girl crush.

-Knee length destroyed denim skirts. (two of my favorite examples found here & here). I mean, 90s much? Fantastically terrible much? I'm in love.  

-& last but not least- this is the story of my life.

 

 

PRETEND SENIOR PICTURES

 

 

 {shirt:forever 21, pants:hollister, blazer:found in the little boys section of a thrift shop, scarf:gift from my momma; bought in china, shoes: cole haan}.

The other day I dragged (literally) my friend Laura out to a field in the middle of nowhere to help me take some fake senior pictures. I'm getting my real senior pictures taken by matt clayton in just one week and I wanted to test out some outfits. And OH MY GOSH I'M GETTING MY SENIOR PICTURES TAKE BY MATT CLAYTON. I've only been dreaming of this day since, what? 7th grade? Holy cow am I excited.

Also, can we talk about this camera for a second? I found it at an antique shop the other day and instantly fell in love. I've been in this big "I love America/the American flag is so cool/go boy scouts/go anything that has to do with America" mood lately, so finding that was awesome. All I want to do lately is rock overalls and anything America flag inspired (even though I'm wearing a union jack scarf in these pictures...) and take pictures of cute little boy scouts and join a baseball team...is anyone else feeling this way...?

EXTREMISTS

"But as I continued to think about the matter, I gradually gained a bit of satisfaction from being considered an extremist. Was not Jesus an extremist in love? -- "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, pray for them that despitefully use you." Was not Amos an extremist for justice? -- "Let justice roll down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream." Was not Paul an extremist for the gospel of Jesus Christ? -- "I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus." Was not Martin Luther an extremist? "Here I stand; I can do no other so help me God." Was not John Bunyan an extremist? -- "I will stay in jail to the end of my days before I make a mockery of my conscience." Was not Abraham Lincoln an extremist? -- "This nation cannot survive half lave and half free." Was not Thomas Jefferson an extremist? -- "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created qual." So the question is not whether we will be extremist, but what kind of extremists we will be. Will we be extremists for hate, or will we be extremists for love? Will we be extremists for the preservation of injustice, or will we be extremists for the cause of justice?"

-Martin Luther King Jr., Letter from Birmingham Jail

Was I disappointed? Yes. Was I defeated? Absolutely not!

{via.}

//I recently stumbled upon an older talk by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf and absolutly fell in love with it. Every word rang true to me and it was exactly what I needed to hear. Read some of my favorite parts below, or read the whole thing here.//
 
In most languages there exists a phrase as magical and full of promise as perhaps any in the world. That phrase is “Once upon a time.”

Aren’t those wonderful words to begin a story? “Once upon a time” promises something: a story of adventure and romance, a story of princesses and princes. It may include tales of courage, hope, and everlasting love. In many of these stories, nice overcomes mean and good overcomes evil. But perhaps most of all, I love it when we turn to the last page and our eyes reach the final lines and we see the enchanting words “And they lived happily ever after.”

 

Isn’t that what we all desire: to be the heroes and heroines of our own stories; to triumph over adversity; to experience life in all its beauty; and, in the end, to live happily ever after?

 

In that story the main character may be a princess or a peasant; she might be a mermaid or a milkmaid, a ruler or a servant. You will find one thing all have in common: they must overcome adversity.

 

In stories, as in life, adversity teaches us things we cannot learn otherwise. Adversity helps to develop a depth of character that comes in no other way. Our loving Heavenly Father has set us in a world filled with challenges and trials so that we, through opposition, can learn wisdom, become stronger, and experience joy.

 

It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop.

 

We all search for happiness, and we all try to find our own “happily ever after.” The truth is, God knows how to get there! And He has created a map for you; He knows the way...All you have to do is trust your Heavenly Father. Trust Him enough to follow His plan.

 

“Happily ever after” is not something found only in fairy tales. You can have it! It is available for you! But you must follow your Heavenly Father’s map.

 

Learn to love your Heavenly Father with all your heart, might, and mind. Fill your souls with virtue, and love goodness. Always strive to bring out the best in yourself and others.

 

You are princesses, destined to become queens. Your own wondrous story has already begun. Your “once upon a time” is now.

 

And the day will come when you turn the final pages of your own glorious story; there you will read and experience the fulfillment of those blessed and wonderful words: “And they lived happily ever after.”

THOUGHTS.

 

 

 

I am now 17 years of age. weird.

I am also the newest seminary class president.
I think it's just a ploy to get me to class on time. ;)

 

I'm a teen leader for the "My Future My Choice" program.

I go down to the local middle school and teach the 7th graders about abstaining from sex.
It's actually a TON of fun. (and a lot less awkward than I thought it would be).

 

I'm also a part of a middle school mentoring program.
I go down to the middle school twice a month and help teach an "intro to high school" class.
Those kids are the greatest.
(but whenever i spend time with them i cant help but think, "was i really that small?!")

 

I am obsessed with this song right now.

 

& I can't wait to see this documentary.

 

I've been spending a ridiculous amount of money on concert tickets lately.

Hey Vampire Weekend, Blind Pilot, and Fun.! I can't wait to see you guys!

 

My dad got home from a business trip to Amsterdam last week.

& he brought stroopwafels, (unknowingly illegal) chocolate, and the worlds greatest cheese back with him.

I signed up for the Color Me Rad 5k.
I can soon cross "run a 5k" & "participate in the color run" off my bucket list!

 

People keep telling me I look like Lana Del Rey and Natalie Portman.
Uhm, WOAH those are like my two biggest girl crushes.
So shaaanks.

 

Senior year is going to be the best.
1 history class, 1 art-based English, AP photography, 2 other art courses, and 2 early releases.
4.0 here I come. ;)

 

"CasiDee, have you been working out your glutes?!"

 

"You're like, the classiest person I know. HOW HAVE YOU NOT SEEN LE MIZ?!" 

 

I shouldn't be allowed to blog at this time of night.

Sorry for the nonesense. 

 







I FOUND THIS POST IN MY DRAFTS. IT'S REALLY OLD. OH WELL.

It's time to get real here, okay guys?

If I'm being completely honest, these last couple months have been really sucky. Like in a everything-little-thing-is-going-wrong-but-i-don't-really-have-a-good-reason-to-think-my-life-sucks kind of way. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I don't either. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm a big baby. Lately I've been finding myself complaining about the little things and not trusting in God and his timing. I could sit here and name off all of the dumb things that have happened since school started, but I wont, because that would be obnoxious and no one would want to read it. Instead, I'll share all of the things I am thankful for. Because it's November, dangit. And looking on the bright side of things always helps. 

  

THINGS THAT I AM THANKFUL FOR:

//taylor swift and her new cd, because it's perfect in every single way//friends that make me laugh//the temple//movie marathon parties//oregon in the fall, because i'm pretty sure this is exactly what heaven will look like//dutch brother's peppermint hot chocolate//a loving family//my three best girlfriends, and talk about a little 'last hurrah' in disneyland//having my licence and a car that i can drive in//a mom that will take me out of school for the day to go shoe shopping//playing the guitar and piano//hunter hayes//real, paying photography jobs//missionaries; past, present, and future.//the new missionary age change, and other answered prayers//sweater weather//my advanced junior english class, because we're basically like a family and i've never, ever laughed that much in school//instagram//blogging//the talents i have been given, because they make me special//seminary//journaling, even though i am terrible at it//pink hats that i am pretty sure are magical//cherry vanilla sprites//"no school november"//the beatles//boys with nice hair//

TODAY.

"I love your outfit. It reminds me of something
I would pin on pinterest."

"You Remind me of Audrey Hepburn. Seriously.
You kind of look like her, and you're just so classy!"

Today, I received the two best complements ever.

I also found out that guys facebook stalk. Guys facebook stalk! Who would've thunk it.

And I got an Instax camera for Christmas. I'm so excited, you don't even know. 

{via.}

The other day in seminary, we talked about our hopes and dreams for the future.

This is what I decided:

I want to go on a mission for my church. I want to go to Africa and help build a school. I want to run a marathon. I want to learn how to surf and sew and to play the ukulele. I want to travel the world. I want to go to Brigham young university to become a special education teacher. More specifically, I want to work with deaf and blind children. I also want to continue photography, maybe even shooting some families/seniors/weddings on the side. I want to be fluent in Braille and American Sign Language, as well as Spanish and Dutch. I want to get married in the temple and have a family. I want to help change the world for the better. I want to live an awesome life, one that people will remember.

general conference {saturday session.}

 {laura and erik and i. we're babes, don't deny it. also, please note that i am wearing a bowtie. bahaha.}

oh boy, where do i begin? today was conference. it's a time set aside twice a year where our prophet and church leaders speak to us worldwide. i love conference weekends. i always hear the things i needed to hear, and i find a whole lot of comfort in their inspired guidance and love.

things that i learned at conference today:




when you read the scriptures, it makes it easier to obey the commandments. scriptures are tools to help us. use these tools. they are pure truth. read your scriptures every day. studying & memorizing scriptures is like filling a filing cabinet full of friends and truths that can be called upon at any time. great power comes from memorizing scriptures. ponder what you read.


when you pray, believe you will get an answer. god will answer in his own way and in his own time. never give up. always pray. make prayer a daily habit. trust in the lord with all your heart. listen for the voice of the spirit that is felt rather than heard. as you seek revelation, you will walk in the light of the lord.


whom the lord love, he corrects. learn of the church before you go around preaching it. trust in the lord with all your heart. testimonies come little by little. our testimony + faith in the lord + knowledge of the plan of happiness is what we need to get us through hard times.


dreams we have now can be fulfilled later in life. do not give up on your hopes and dreams.


no building is more important than the temple. go to the temple often, as often as you can.


learn of christ and follow his example. christ is the perfect example. when we serve others, we are serving christ. those who are lost rarely even realize they are lost. we need to help and love them.


we are being raised in enemy land. we are the strongest of the strong, the bravest of the brave, the best of the best. we were saved for this day and time to fight for our beliefs and help others do the same.


do not believe that you are not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, etc. those thoughts are from satan, and they are not true. the worth of souls is great in the sight of god. we are everything to god. the lord uses the scale very different from that of the world to measure self worth. he loves each and every one of us. we are all special and we all have a reason to be here. do not let satan discourage you.


i am a daughter of god. i am a daughter of a king.


the book of mormon will help us with our problems and give us guidance.


some of the greatest souls that have ever lived are not in history books.


do not worry. live your life to the fullest. go on a mission, get married, have a family, watch your children and grandchildren grow up. you will not run out of time. everything will work out.


the church is pressing forward--press forward with it.


do the best you can, and the lord will do the rest. all will be well. do not stress.


be humble. do not complain. be a good influence to those around you. let your light shine to the world.


no matter what, you are not invisible to your father in heaven. what is going on now will not be forever. love your heavenly father in word and in deed. he sees you as his child. he sees you as the being you can and will become. he wants you to know that he loves you.


there is always time to serve others. service can be small. let us be as quick to kneel in prayer as we are to text. get rid of the time wasting things in your life. make sure being busy means you are being productive. continue to prepare to meet god. use the internet for good.


it is better to look up.


always remember christ. pour out your heart in prayer. have a hearing ear and a seeing eyes both directed upward.